


Looking For Something Dumb To Do

by NiennaNir



Series: Love and Other Nursery Tales [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 04:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3635898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NiennaNir/pseuds/NiennaNir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a lot of risk involved in being a Superhero. Phil Coulson might not be dealing with it all that well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking For Something Dumb To Do

**Author's Note:**

> For Nurse Nancy and the Flower Girl and at the request of Kika988

A pair of perfectly polished black Armanis crossed the industrial tile floor at a sharp clip, the heels snapping with each step. A nurse backed against the wall at his approach and another spun on his toes in his haste to make way.

“Phil?” Jamie’s voice wavered, his small hand clinging fiercely to the lapel of Phil’s suit, his other arm curled around the agent’s shoulder, wide eyes and trembling lip searching Coulson’s face. Phil shushed him softly, tightening his grip on the child as he continued down the corridor. He reached out, shoving the swinging door hard.

“Status?” he snapped, striding into the light drenched waiting room of Avenger’s tower’s medical wing.

“What the hell’s Xerox doing here?” Tony, the room’s sole occupant, demanded in agitation.  A single mangled gauntlet was still attached to his left hand and a smudge of grease marring his forehead, creasing into a wavy line as he scowled.

“Stop calling him that.” Phil’s eyes narrowed in a menacing frown, pulling Jamie closer. “Darcy brought him down.”

“Well why would she even do that?” Tony threw his arms out, rolling his eyes. The gauntlet sizzled, shooting off a shower of sparks and he frowned at it.

“I don’t know,” Phil answered sarcastically. “Maybe he was a bit distressed at the news that his father had been buried under thirty tons of concrete!”

“Okay, that’s totally on me,” Tony relented, the tension in his shoulders deflating all at once. “But in my defense if I hadn’t called Jane to tell her to manually boot up the Hulkbuster so JARVIS could fly it in, they’d both still be buried under a building.”

“Dad?” Jamie’s voice was a plaintive whine and Tony cringed, his face contorting in horror as a pair of huge tears trickled down the child’s face.

“No, no no,” Tony protested, flapping his gauntlet-clad hand. He reached out, pulling Jamie from Phil’s grasp. “Dad’s okay, small-fry. He’s a little banged up, but he’s going to be just fine. I’m paying good money for the best medical support staff in the world, they’ll have him patched up in no time and then you can see him, okay?” Jamie didn’t answer, burrowing closer to snuffle into Tony’s shirt. Tony looked up to find Phil staring at him with a carefully blank expression, clearly not distracted enough to miss what Tony hadn’t said.

“Clint.” The single word wasn’t a question but Tony stared back at him at a loss for an answer anyway. Phil did a sharp half turn, his rapid steps carrying him toward the doors that separated the waiting room from the treatment area.

“Phil he’s still in surgery!” Tony protested, his arms wrapping more securely around Jamie. Phil didn’t reply, the rushing in his ears muting the sounds of Stark shouting after him.

“Phil, take a breath,” Natasha insisted, appearing from one of the treatment suites ahead of him as if summoned by magic, her hand pressing a bandage to the gash in her forehead. “We got everyone out, Steve took the brunt of the injury, it could have been a lot worse. Phil?”

He didn’t answer, peripherally aware of passing the treatment suite where Barnes was angrily trying to wave off Bruce with his metal arm slightly dented and his right arm in a cast.

“Phil, don’t do this,” Natasha stated, her tone equal parts demand and plea. Coulson continued his quick march, all but ignoring Thor who was standing guard at the doors to the surgery ahead of them.

“Philip, it would be best,” Thor began, but Phil ducked, stepping quickly to the side and rounding Thor in one swift motion.

“Slippery,” Thor observed in surprise.

“I have him,” Natasha assured, patting Thor’s arm as she headed after Coulson.

“Do you honestly think you’re going to make things better by barging into his operating room?” she demanded, hurrying to catch up with Phil.

“It won’t hurt,” Phil replied, his tone dry. “I’ve assisted with his surgery five times in the last ten years.”

“Budapest does not count as surgery,” Natasha corrected. Coulson threw an icy glare at her.

“Let the doctors do their job, Phil!” she snapped angrily.

“Like I let the Avengers do their job?” he demanded, rounding on her angrily. “Because you all did a great job of having his back today!”

“You can tell that to Steve later,” Natasha remarked, her tone betraying no hint of emotion. “When we dug them out, he was still shielding Clint with his body.” Phil’s face took on a stricken expression and he stared back at her mutely.

“Ow, what the hell!?” Phil’s eyes bulged and he spun on his heel, charging through the nearest set of doors, Natasha close behind him.

“Shouldn’t you put me under for that?” Clint demanded, his tone garbled. He was slouched on the edge of a gurney, an IV trailing from his arm and a heart monitor bleeping out a thready rhythm behind him as he glared over his shoulder.

“Stop fussing!” the nurse scolded, taping a bandage down over his shoulder blade. “You’ll pull your stitches out, again!”

“Clint?” Phil shoulders sagged in a rush of relief, his expression going soft.

“Hey, Phil,” Clint gave him a glassy smile, drawing out the words longer than they were meant to be.

“Oh god, you’re okay,” Phil breathed out.

“He’s going to be fine, Agent Coulson,” a second nurse assured, in a warm, lilting Jamaican accent as she tidied up the suture tray. “He gave Nancy a little trouble when we shot him up with antibiotics.”

“You punched the nurse,” Natasha declared with a disapproving frown as she folded her arms over her chest.

“I didn’t mean to,” Clint protested.

“I’m too fast for him,” Nancy assured easily. “You could take some lessons from my daughter, after chasing her around you’re positively easy.”

“I can take her,” Clint insisted. raising his fists in front of his face and then wincing, glaring down at the bandages wrapped around his side.

“She’s fourteen, and right now she could kick your butt,” Nancy stated dryly before turning to the other nurse. “Angie, have you got Rocky here?” Angie nodded and Nancy gave Clint a light swat on the arm.

“Lie down, don’t make me clean you up again,” She ordered, crossing the room and taking Natasha’s arm. “Let me get some glue on your head.”

“I don’t,” Natasha protested as Nancy steered her out the door.

“Sure you do,” Nancy insisted. “Come on.”

“How are you doing?” Phil asked, his tone soft as he cupped Clint’s face in his hands.

“I feel terrible,” Clint admitted. “Did Stark cheap out on my drugs?”

“We sewed up the gashes. He’s got a concussion and a sprained ankle,” Angie reported. “And a problem with doing as he’s told.”

“He’s always had that,” Phil sighed in fond exasperation, brushing Clint’s hair back from his face.

“My nest fell on me again,” Clint informed. “Steve caught me, he caught the nest too… with his head.”

“He’s pretty banged up but he’s already healing,” Angie assured. “You lie down and stay out of trouble until your IV’s done and the doctor can come discharge you.”

“It’s date night!” Clint grinned at her before turning to Phil. “Is it still date night? How long have I been out?”

“We should get married,” Phil blurted out.

“Vegas!” Clint made to raise his arms over his head then winced, glaring at his shoulder. “Date night in Vegas, totally awesome.”

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Phil continued, undeterred. “and maybe it’s too soon, but we’ve known each other for almost fifteen years now, and it’s not like we’re children. We already live together.”

“You’re fucking serious,” Clint declared blinking up at him.

“I want to marry you,” Phil nodded.

“Lord in heaven,” Angie sighed, shaking her head.

“Why?” Clint asked in bewilderment.

“Because I could have lost you today,” Phil admitted, his fingertips trailing over Clint’s cheek. “I could have lost you and… I don’t want to wait, not when I don’t know how much time we’ll have. Not when what we do is so dangerous. I don’t want to waste a second.”

Clint let out a choked sound before falling over on the gurney with a howl of laughter.

“Least he’s lying down now,” Angie observed as Phil stared down at him.

“Oh my god,” Clint gasped through his laughter. “I know I shouldn’t but… Oh my god, Phil! This is the safest I’ve ever been in my life!” Phil’s face fell as Angie shook her head.

“Pretty sure I’m going to regret hearing this conversation later,” she tisked, returning her attention to tidying up.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Clint protested as Phil gazed down at him with sad eyes. “You know what my life was like before. You were the one who shot me!”

“You were trying to kill me,” Phil defended.

“I wasn’t complaining!” Clint declared, pushing himself back upright to gaze into Phil’s face with an expression that was almost euphoric. “I have backup now, Phil, Superhero backup. Captain America caught a building for me today. There was a giant green backhoe to dig me out! I spent my whole life before SHIELD with no one to watch my back. And when you recruited me, I thought SHIELD and the invisible planes and giant guns was the best thing ever. But now… wow, do you know how good I sleep at night now?” Phil’s face contorted in a pained expression.

“But you,” he protested.

“I have my own nurses, Phil!” Clint interrupted, waving one hand at Angie checking his IV and the other at the door Nancy had disappeared through.

“We don’t actually belong to you, Agent Barton,” Angie replied with a droll smile.

“There’s, what, six Avengers?” he protested.

“It concerns me that you have to ask,” Phil admitted.

“And how many nurses?” Clint questioned, turning to Angie.

“Fifteen,” she replied, locking away the last of the supplies into the medical cart.

“That’s more than two nurses apiece!” Clint insisted smugly. “So if the nurses I have are dicks like that guy at SHIELD medical-”

“Ronald,” Phil supplied.

“Yeah, him,” Clint nodded enthusiastically. “If they’re dicks like him I can get new nurses.”

“You really can’t, sweetie,” Angie stated, patting his hand. “On account that Nancy and I are the only two nurses here who haven’t tried to drug you unconscious to make you less annoying.”

“I have to apologize for him,” Phil insisted contritely. “Pain killers do… interesting things to him.”

“Oh, I know honey,” Angie assured, waving a dismissive hand at him as she made her retreat. “I’m the one who administered them.”

“Phil, I don’t want to get married just ‘cause you’re scared,” Clint stated, his words slurring slightly as he gazed up at Phil with wide, innocent eyes.

“What if I wanted to get married because I love you?” Phil asked softly, running his fingers though Clint’s hair.

“Yeah?” Clint asked with a glassy eyed smile.

“Yeah,” Phil nodded.

“Cool,” Clint said glowing up at him. Phil leaned in capturing his lips in a warm kiss. A shrill beeping went off on the equipment behind them but Clint seemed not to notice, fisting his hands in Phil’s lapels to reel him in closer.

“I thought I told you to lie down,” Nancy stated, mashing the button on the heart monitor until the alarm stopped wailing. She reached out, gently but firmly forcing Clint’s shoulders down onto the gurney.

“I’m gonna get married,” He announced with a besotted grin.

“Sure you are,” Nancy assured as Phil blushed slightly, glancing away. “I’ll be sure to send out for flowers and a white dress.”

“I wanna wear purple,” Clint insisted. “and your daughter can be our flower girl.”

“Oh boy,” Phil sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

**  
**  


**Author's Note:**

> Looking for something dumb to do? Follow me on Tumblr.  
> niennanir.tumblr.com


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